


If It Feels Right

by loveywife



Series: Ice Dog and the Loneliest Yeti [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Feels, Gen, Hydra, bucky reconditioning, buckys childhood memories, stuckyangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 17:44:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3298589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveywife/pseuds/loveywife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Please stand</p><p>(Face the flag)</p><p>Put your right hand over your heart.</p><p>Ready? Begin...</p>
            </blockquote>





	If It Feels Right

**Author's Note:**

> Can be read as a part of the "Ice Dog" universe (because almost everything I write about these two revolves around those characterizations), but does not have to be.

_“I pledge allegiance to the flag…”_

_The rough little boy’s voice sounds across the crowded classroom amongst a chorus of others, boys and girls dressed in their best school clothes. The first day they were taught something their teacher promised would always be very important and special to them. His shirt already has grass stains and his trousers have holes in the knee. He gave his nicer pair of shoes up for milk money, and so the worse pair of last year are stuck on his feet. They used to belong to a rough and tumble cousin, who wore holes in the soles and toes, through which the crinkled edges of newsprint can be seen poking through. They are the only way the hand-me-downs will stay on his smaller feet. A little hand clutches at his breast pocket; his voice is hoarse as he racks his brain to recite what is written in neatly, chalky cursive on the board._

A face wavers in front of him, a fierce man in a sharp suit and rounded glasses. **You will bring honor to this nation.  You will herald in the new age, an age of greatness for the people.**

He bites down on the piece of plastic lodged between his teeth and tongue, eyes moist. He will be the dawn on the horizon, the coming age of new light.

 

_His teacher’s voice rings out, sweet amongst the unison chanting. “Jimmy, are you having trouble reciting the pledge?”_

_Yes, ma’am. “No, ma’am. I’m doing just fine.”  The hand is placed back over his left side, his lips are wet and he tries to continue, to remember the words._

_“Of the United States of America.”_

**You will be a hero, more than he ever was. Forget him.** He is commanded and the Asset knows what to do with an order-obey. Images are wiped form his memory with a cold precision. He is sealed into his chrysalis; he will be reborn as something new. He must save them, he must try. No one saved him, he must…

_The heat of the summer sun streams through the crinkled blinds, dotted with smiley face masks drawn in garish crayon clipped to the slats with clothespins and string. He is sweating, with effort, with nerves. He mustn’t make mistakes, he must bring honor to his nation. He is youthful, he is proud._

_“And to the Republic, for which it stands,” Bucky’s voice is high and clear. He will succeed, he knows he can._

The man circles him, like smoke wafting in from an evening lounge, he is thick and close and everywhere. **Do as you are told. Comply. Obey. You will be a savior, crowning in shining glory.**

_“One nation.” He thinks back to the smaller boy in the next class, a frail thing whom everyone threw clods of dirt at and picked on when he couldn’t play tag with them. Bucky had sat with him until his wheezing subsided and color returned to his cheeks. Steve can recite the whole pledge, and he’s younger than Bucky. He’ll do it for Steve. Steve will be proud of him._

They will be proud of him, and he will not even miss what he leaves behind. **Your time of service is not finished.** He must defend them; protect the interests of those who know what is best. There is no promised land, no courageously bold nation that passes out free will along with paychecks and military drafts; there is no longer a God above.

 

_“Indivisible.”_

 

He can feel ice slipping in between his tendons and fibers, frosting over his boiling blood and sapping him of all resolve to struggle. Bonds are breaking as they are forgotten, bones are snapping and he is remolded for something breakable will always break. Steve, fragile as glass will be broken but The Asset can remold him too. His skin is crawling and settles in new shapes, twisted and callused. They reroute his blood, they frazzle his brain and he is okay. The cold is pleasant on his heated flesh, on his fuming mind. He shall submit; he shall do as he was told.

**Ah, good. Very good, Soldier.**

_Bucky can feel joy cresting in his chest, swelling to a bulbous bubble of shimmering soap, as  he finishes the pledge, like a prayer. Miss Thompson sashays over in a cloud of sugary perfume and says in a voice just as sweet and rewarding, “Great Job, James!” She places a hand on his shoulder and smiles as bright as the sun in the sky, as God above and Bucky is content. He has done it. The country that protects him knows he will obey their will, for he is patriotic and proud._

The Asset, merely a weapon knows his will has been stolen.  They rip it out with a scratch of fingernail edges and offer up a hankie to fold it into. They have wrapped it up in the fine, clean cloth, blood staining the pristine white. The man has offered nothing to staunch the blood rushing from his arteries and veins where the skin is torn around the edges. **Freedom is fleeting, but glory is forever.**

_A small child’s voice can be heard exclaiming triumphantly as he beams back up at his teacher, “With liberty and justice for all.”_

**Author's Note:**

> The summary is the standard introduction to the flag I've always heard over morning announcements. I dunno if it is different for others. 
> 
> The pledge used, if it wasn't obvious, is the Pledge of Allegiance. The line, "(One nation, indivisible)...under God, with liberty and justice for all." is missing because the religious bit wasn't added in until the 1950's, so not young Bucky's time. (pretty sure that is an accurate fact..??) 
> 
> also sorry for any typos, or lack of grammar. I wrote this while I was WAY out of it with a cold! I'll probably go back and fix the mistakes later. maybe...
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
